What would you do?

I watched Oprah one day last week where she featured Primetime's What Would You Do? series with John Quinones. They set up actors to perform scenarios and see how people reacted to them. Such as they had teenagers in a park - one girl being picked on by a bunch of girls. And then they saw what people did. Men didn't respond and women did. Women would just start out trying to talk to the bully girls and then started acting like the teenagers. Calling the teenagers losers with the attitude of teenager.

Of course all the scenarios bothered me but there were a few that brought tears to my eyes as it just hurt to see others being treated so poorly and no one doing anything. One of the scenarios reminded me of a situation I encountered a month or two after 9/11.

One situation that brought tears was an African American couple arguing in a park - they were the actors. And many men that came up to them said take this out of the park. They didn't say this isn't right -- how the man was talking to the woman and how he was grabbing her. But said take it out of the park. And they would say things like..."these people" shouldn't be using the park like this. But they didn't really help the woman of the couple. It was amazing to me because the things the man was saying to the woman of couple were very offensive. He was grabbing her by the arm swinging him back to her saying don't walk away from me and he even slapped at her bottom a few times. And yet no one was stopping. But one woman finally stopped and wouldn't leave. She didn't have a cell phone and kept asking passersby for a cell phone to call 911 but wouldn't leave the woman alone. The actors did this for 5 hours before a woman that stopped. It makes me sick to think that so many people passed them by and didn't help her. When Primetime's John Quinones interviewed people after the men said they thought it would just escalate it and they might get hurt. That thought just boggles my mind. Then go to the nearest phone and call 911 - stop someone and say call 911 and then go over to the couple so you can get involved now to stop what was happening to her. Benjamin Franklin said, "He who gives up freedom for safety deserves neither." To me no man is free if they can really stand by and watch something like that.

The woman of actors/couple said after doing that for 5 hours having that kind of offensive language and behavior used on her - although she was an actor - it did affect her. She was feeling defeated and then finally that woman stopped and she said she felt like finally someone saw me. When she was asked why she stopped she said how could I not stop.

Then the other scenario that really got to me was a woman with a headcovering came into a bakery and the guy behind the counter was an actor and the woman in the headcovering was also. She said she had a question about the apple pastry and the guy behind the counter started saying he didn't serve her kind that she wasn't an American she was a terrorist. He said extremely offensive anti-Muslim and anti-Arab slurs. And most people just literally looked the other way by turning their faces to not look at her. Some even stepped in front of her to order. There was one man that thanked/commended the guy behind the counter and agreed she was a terrorist and not an American. She said I was born and raised here. That didn't matter to him. She asked people in line to buy her an apple pastry and they wouldn't. There were a few people that stopped and stuck up for her. One man had a son in Iraq and said that this woman shouldn't be treated that way. He said that he stopped in the bakery every time he passed by it and now he wouldn't again. Then there were two young women that really got angry and one said she wanted to see the manager right away that if anyone needed to leave was the guy behind the counter. That it wasn't right to treat anyone the way he was and so on - she was great!

It made me remember I was coming out of a grocery store maybe a month or just bit longer after 9/11 and there was a woman with a little kid and holding a couple sacks on the way her car a little ways in front of me. She was wearing a headcovering and also a long dress. She was basically covered - except for her face. And a man and what I assumed was his son went up to her and spit on her and knocked her groceries from her hands. They were telling her to go back home that she wasn't wanted here in the USA anymore. I ran over to her asked her if she was okay. I helped pick up her groceries. She had tears streaming down face. And the man told me I shouldn't be helping a terrorist. I was like she isn't a terrorist...and went on to say that she looked like a mom shopping for groceries to go home and make dinner just like I was and he probably was too. He just rolled his eyes at me. He told all of "them" are terrorist and he walked away. I helped her get to her car and asked if she wanted me to call 911. She said no. I felt so sorry for her. She thanked me several times. I told her that they should be apologizing and although it wasn't the same I was apologized for their behavior. She said that it was not necessary that it has been happening quite a bit -- but she can't hide out in her house for the rest of her life. I told her I hoped she wouldn't because not everyone was as ignorant as those two men. She said I proved that to her.

"Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander." From the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C.

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn't a Jew.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out. (one version of the famous words by Martin Niemöller)

I will not be a bystander and I will not remain silent.