Rough Week

It has been a rough week. A week ago one of our cats was not acting his usual self and we had an emergency visit to the  vet. They can't figure out what was wrong with him and he does seem to be better. But still scary.

I contacted an old friend I hadn't talked to in a long while and found out she had surgery to remove cancer cells. So I have been worried about her. 

I have had the stomach flu. I am not sure I have ever been this sick before as an adult. Nothing is staying down. I went to the doctor and they ran some tests and everything is pointing to a virus. He explained to me that the stomach flu will last 24 hours, 3 days, 7 days or 10 days. I am coming up on 7 days. 

Then today I found out a friend from Ohio died. I am sitting here typing this and still in shock. My friend was suffering and fighting a very hard battle with cancer. But she died from an unrelated issue. I can't believe this vibrant, beautiful soul isn't here with us. I sent her a card just a few weeks ago...it had a red party dress on the front and inside I wrote that she would be dolled up, high heels on and dancing again soon. I hope she is now. 

Just feeling incredibly sad and grateful at the same time for knowing her and being able to share so many good memories with her in them. 

Be Me

I am a big Liz Lamoreux fan. I have her book Inner Excavation and feel it helped me get unstuck in creating again.  I get her newseltter and often it says just what I am needing to hear in that moment. Her newsletter of January 22nd was one of those. 

Quote from it...."We all need a space where we can just be us. A space where we aren't in charge. Where we feel safe enough to unearth this true essence inside us. A space to be the quiet one or the one who gives the biggest hugs or the one who invites others to dance or the one who simply nods and listens murmuring "yes." A space where we can connect with other like-minded souls." ~ Liz Lamoreux

That space often is just with me inside me - quite, taking deep breathes and doing what feels right in the moment. But also it is with a group of friends. Twenty thirteen brought me a circle of friends that I haven't had since moving to Grand Junction.  It is the first time I have felt like I have a space to be me.  It is a space to be me in art, be me in laughter, be me in silliness, be me in deep discussions, be me in connection and vulnerability.  I am truly thankful for the great group of friends that came together in 2013 and grow closer in 2014.

Photo from Amy Brown Fairy Cards - a tarot reading done on the 19th.

Soon to Meet a Friend

Sour Cream Cookies
made for my friend and her family

Today I am cleaning like a mad woman. We are going out of town and I hate coming home to a dirty house and often when we are leaving for a trip things end up looking like a tornado hit the house because I am packing and throwing things all over to find things for our trip.

Most of the time though I am lucky and do get a chance to clean things up so we aren't coming home to a dirty house. I change sheets and towels and sprinkle essential oils throughout the house so that when we come home and open the door it smells good too.

I also baked some cookies because I get to met a friend while in Idaho.

When Michael first found out he was going to Idaho, he asked me if I wanted to go because he remembered I have a friend I have known online for almost 10 years that I haven't met face to face who lives in the area. Of course I jumped on that chance and in a few days I will meet her and I am so excited!

Her and I bonded on a menu planning group years ago. Soon after we became fast friends enjoying Firefly, cooking, tea, books, the color purple and so many other things. In a few days we will be able to talk about all those wonderful things face to face - laugh and hug and just enjoy each other's company. Really EXCITED!

Box of Sunshine

A good friend of ours was going through a down time and so we sent her a box of sunshine. I got the idea off of Pinterest. It came from this website: KatherineMarie.com   I like how they did it with the little tags, candy and such, but we weren't wanting to send bunches of candy although I love the idea of taking candy and just pulling out the yellow to give in the box.

So I took that idea and we did a box full of yellow bright sunny cheerful things for our friend.  In the polka dot tin was some gum,  little stickers, and a half circle notepad that had a lemon on the front.  In the little yellow and white cosmetic bag was a little white and yellow brush, goldish-yellow nail files and that bottle of lotion in the photos.  We found a little poem book with a cup of cheer on the front of it in the form of a teacup. The little book was all done in yellows.  It is under the dragonfly journal that is yellow with hot pink dragonflies on it. Also included were notecards and notepad with a bee, yellow duck scrubbie, the Love stone, yellow and white candle that smelled of summer time and sunshine,  little yellow bucket had face and feet masks, and more manicure set. We added yellow tissue, shredded crinkly paper, fabric ribbon, curly ribbon and bows.

It was really fun looking for yellow items. Most things we found in the dollar section at Michael's Arts and Crafts, Target and the Dollar Tree.

The Box of Sunshine did exactly what we intended - cheer up our friend and remind her how much we care about her.

Tomato Salad

We had a BBQ to go to a couple weeks ago.  It was a lot of fun socializing with this group of people.  We are so thankful that we were invited and made it back from Denver in time to go.

Of course about a week before the party, I started thinking about what to bring but was really not coming up with anything that was sounding very good to me. I wanted something easy to do as we would be just back from Denver so didn't want to spend hours in the kitchen.  I was flipping through an old Food & Wine magazine and came across a recipe that I adapted because it wasn't exactly what sounded good to me - as I don't like blue cheese and I didn't like the sound of dijon vinaigrette at that moment - but I am sure it would be good with it too.

Tomato Salad
3 lbs tomatoes at least 3 different kinds chopped- I did 4 kinds
1/2 lb cooked bacon - crumbled
1 small container feta cheese
balsamic vinaigrette - to taste - start with 1/2 cup and keep moving up

Toss all ingredients to mix.

Refrigerate any leftovers - if there are any.  We came home with less than 1/2 cup.

AMAZING Week!

We had such an amazing week!  A friend of ours from Chicago, Tammy, visited and we just all have a great time and it didn't matter what we did - it could be hanging around the house or doing day trips - everything was so fun.  Michael schedule was kind of clear and free for her visit but of course when you own your own business - things happen. So we didn't get to do all the things we had planned but we still had a great time. She is such a pleasure to be around.  She just went with it and offered to pitch in and help when a big project came up.  So thankful for all she did while she was here. It really helped us out.

She is a shutterbug so she took over 1000 photos while here.  Michael and I took some photos too but I only took a handful as I was with 2 people who are the real photographers in our bunch. 

But here is a couple of my photos...this was on the Colorado National Monument which is about 10 mins away from us. 

In a Few Days...

In a few days, we will be having a very good friend visiting us.  I can't wait to see her and just sit and talk.  I have been crazy cleaning. It is spring cleaning with the frenzy on top of people coming to visit.  I do this when Michael's parents visit and when mine do too.

I have a menu planned and hope she feels like she is being spoiled when here.  I know she deserves to be spoiled.

I have tried a few cleaning techniques and homemade cleaners I have seen on Pinterest and they worked well. I will give a review of them later.

Fast

I feel like life is moving a little too fast right now.  Since coming back from Christmas vacation - it just seems like it has been one thing after another.  We came home with colds from Christmas vacation and then got hit with colds/flu in March again. Really the March flu was the worst I have felt in probably over 10 years.  I don't know if it just me getting older so bones ache more and body breaking down so I feel the flu more-so then I did when I was young and could run around even when sick.  But this flu did me in. Really 2 weeks of really being down with it and then a 3rd week with just the cough left.  After that I started spring cleaning, which I normally do but this time I needed to get it done quickly as we are having a very good friend visit.  So from the end of the flu to when she visits isn't a lot of time.  But I will manage and get things done so that we can have a great time when she arrives. We can't wait to show off our beautiful state to her.

So as I stated life feels like it is moving fast and I really need it to slow down a bit - and I am hoping that while she is here I can relax a little and have some fun.  I am really looking forward to her visit.

Tripping to the East

Michael might need to be taking a road trip for his work and I am going to tag along.  It would give me a chance to see friends in Ohio, a friend in Illinois and then my sister and her family too.  We are all crossing fingers and toes it will work out.

I haven't seen my friends in Ohio since January 2004.  I miss Karen and Lisa so much. Everyday little things remind me of them.  I don't have friends here like I did there and miss that a lot. So hugging and talking with the girls would be absolutely marvelous! So crossing our fingers and toes that it works out - as it is kind of up in the air right now.

Happy Memories Happy Dish

It is odd to me how just little things can bring up such strong memories. Several weeks ago Michael requested a dish that was named Happy Dish by a good friend of mine. She came to stay with me when I lived in Cleveland. I made it her first night there as I needed something that fed a several people and pasta was my answer. It is just a simple baked pasta dish - penne, ricotta, ground italian sausage, and store bought marina sauce but it made her feel happy when she ate it. So from then it was called Happy Dish.

When I was first with Michael, I made him the dish and told him the story. Recently Michael requested that I make Happy Dish and it immediately made me think of my friend. Good memories. Good times sitting at the table sharing - talking and laughing together.

Meetings

We had a really good time for the holidays. Meeting my niece was a highlight of the trip.  She walked while we were there. On Christmas Eve I was sitting in the family room and I had a brightly colored package of kleenex - the little purse size pack. Chloe saw all those bright colors and wanted it so walked to me to get it. It was quite a few steps and it was a moment I am sure I won't forget. It was so amazing to see her taking those steps when she is just walking - to know she can get that thing in my hand just by going over and getting it.

It was just fun to see how her mind works. Wondered though what she was thinking. But just so happy to see smile and laugh.

After we left Minnesota, we met a friend on our way home. We had a great time - wonderful talks and laughs. She is an amazing person and I was just so happy to be able to sit in the same room and talk with her. She is going to come visit us out here in a Colorado. Michael and I can't wait to show her around our beautiful state.

Reverb 2011

Last year Reverb really affected me in positive ways. I just didn't let that positive force that I started out with - continue. I let some things trip me up and then I stayed back and stagnant - again.   This year Gwen Bell isn't doing Reverb but a couple of her Reverb 2010 co-founders are and I am using prompts Kaileen posted. I might change a few out and add in some of my own though. 


Prompt: Where did 2011 begin?

2011 started with me getting my migraines down so that they didn't impede on my quality of life so much. I get them still, but before it was about 22 days out of a month that I got migraines.  Now I get them when a couple times a month and maybe up to 7 a month. But down from 22 to 7 is AMAZING!   My doctor that helped me with this has left the clinic I go to but he was my ROCK STAR for 2011.  

Prompt: Who did you meet?

I met people I have known online for years.  

We met Colleen and Scott after knowing her just a little bit online. They lived on the other side of Colorado, but were visiting family who live in GJ.  They were also in the process at that time of trying to decide where they wanted to move.  We are thankful that they decided to move to our side of the state and are about an hour away now.  We were lucky enough to spend some quality time with them soon.  They have become really good friends and we wish we could spend more time with them. 
I also met someone else I have known online for quite a long time. Kathie at Two Frog Home.  Kathie and her significant other Jeff invited us for dinner when we were in Montana.  It was an amazing night and I wish so much that we lived closer together.  Kathie is one of those people I have always had on a mental list of people I would love to meet - and I am so very grateful that happened in 2011.  
I thought and continue to hope we might get to Montana for Michael's work one more time  in early 2012. I keep my fingers crossed as I would love to spend some more time with Kathie. 

Prompt: What books did you read?
Not as many as I would have liked to read.  But I did read the Karen Moning Fever series mostly because my cousin talks about them quite a lot and then she sent me the first book.  So I got hooked on them.   

I also read the Harry Potter books - first time I had picked one up. I started and kept on going to the end. I am hooked on the movies too and watch them several times a month. 
I read a couple books by Brene Brown and they deeply impacted me.  I really saw through so much guilt and shame I had/have still working inside me.   


I read probably close to 100 books this year. I just haven't logged them all into Goodreads.com yet. 

Prompt: When did you struggle?
I didn't struggle this year a lot - but really I feel like I just gave up on some things.  It was hard due to health reasons so I did struggle there because I couldn't do anything. I felt like I was in a prison - if I took the trash to the curb - I coughed and needed several hours if not all night to recover. Just little tasks sent me over - because I couldn't breath.  That happened in the end of July I was hit with really bad asthma attack and after that I just couldn't breath right.  That went on for 3 months and then I started to heal some but then it came back.  Oddly enough after this ER visit I had recently - my breathing problems went away after taking the powerful antibiotics. I am grateful it did. I mean still have some wheezing and little asthma problems but not like the 3 months were I couldn't sleep because laying down made me choke and cough.  Luckily I am feeling better and just still struggling with some health issues but not to the extent I was before. 

Channeling Surfing

 * Tomorrow we are going to have lunch at some friends who live in a nearby town. They just moved to the area in August.  It is great to have them near as they are such good people.  So nice to talk and laugh with them. 


* My asthma problems have cleared up. My doctor ended up treating me for bronchitis - using an antibiotic and a steroid. Within 2 doses I was able to lay completely down flat - first time in over 3 months. I used my inhaler once in the 10 days of being on the meds. The day after ending my meds - I have had a few problems. Nothing like before but I did have to use my inhaler and ended up taking sinus meds at night. I am hopeful that whatever is going on is better. I have no doubt from now on for a while I will be easily susceptible to having problems. My doctor wants me to call if it comes back to like it was before the meds. 

* We started using a Roku for the TV.  We are really enjoying it. It is basically streaming content to the TV. All the content except Netflix that I am watching is free. But there are some channels that do cost but so far I am not seeing a need for them. 


That is about all for right now....going to go to bed.

Dinner with Friends

Tonight Michael and I had the extreme pleasure of meeting Jeff & Kathie from Two Frog Home.  I have known Kathie for many years online. We have exchanged emails, snail mail, and gifts.  She has been an inspiration to me and been on that mental list of someone I wanted to meet - someday. So when Michael said he was going to Montana for business and I could come - I checked the map right away. As soon as I told her we were coming  and where we would be -  she invited us to have dinner with them at their home.

Such a lovely home. We sat on their porch and ate a delicious dinner.  Kathie has a big garden and many of the things we enjoyed at dinner were from her garden.  Dessert was a cherry tart that was outstanding that every time I think about it - my mouth waters. On top of all that and  the lovely evening of conversation and laughter - Kathie sent us home with a big basket of goodies.  Her canned Vanilla pear butter, Balsamic Berry Jam, hand knitted dish cloth, cookies, massage oil she made, stickers and jelly beans. It was so thoughtful.

I was so nervous when I would call to talk to her to set up the dinner but then the night before dinner I realized something that made most of my nervousness go away. I knew without a doubt Kathie was someone who would accept me for me. And that made me feel free to just be and that is rare. I know in this world we are just suppose to be ourselves but I don't feel often people can be truly open and free around people. We all have masks we have to wear to get through the day and I knew I wouldn't have to do that with Kathie. And the evening was exactly that way - I could relax and just be.  Jeff and Kathie made us feel right at home and comfortable.  Kathie is such a lovely person and it made me wish we lived close together as I just had such a nice time being with her.

Michael will probably have to go back a couple more time and one of those times I will probably get to go with him.  I look forward to the next time we can all get together.

*photo by Michael - was taken on our way into the area on Saturday. That is Flathead Lake which was so beautiful. It took us almost an hour to get around just one side of the lake.

Time Away

We were able to take some time away this weekend to have a lunch with friends. Michael has been so busy with work that I know he needed the break. And I have been caught up in stuff around the house so it was nice to get out.

Really we want to go do a day trip around here locally but we just haven't had the time. Hopefully in early May some time we can get away. A friend, who just moved to the area, wants to go with to see more of this of the state.

Also we would like to go to Iowa this summer to see my niece. We haven't met her officially yet. And I would like to before she graduates. :) It is just hard to get away when having your own business. It takes all Michael's time and with how bad things were last year - we are just so thankful for how busy things have been this year. And Michael is just working really hard. Not knowing how things will be 6 months from now we just have to be grateful of the work that is coming in right now. And we are very grateful. But that also means we don't get to plan trips very easily. But it is our hope to get to Iowa over the summer when my sister isn't working and be able to spend time with her and her family. And meet my precious niece.

Friendship

Prompt: How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

Jessica without question changed my view of the world and impacted my life greatly this year. I am incredibly thankful for all she did to make it possible for us to spend time together. She gave me an artful, peaceful, expressive place to be - especially during such a hard time in my life. She helped ground me and gave me strength to carry on through this year. Jessica has changed my life since the moment we met 4 years ago so it has been gradual but staying with her was a burst of positive energy. I love her and am so blessed to have her as my friend.

Summer of {Mail} Love

My friend Kathie over at Two Frog Home is hosting the Summer of {Mail} Love. I think it is a great idea especially for someone like me who just enjoys sending mail love!

North Carolina (Part 1?)

I have been meaning to write about my trip to North Carolina but have been working hard to finish up a work project before starting other stuff.

Before I arrived at Jessica's house - she wrote me asking me many questions about my likes and dislikes so that I would utterly comfortable at her house.

Going to break this into some topics....

Nervousness - I was talking with Michael on the phone as I came down into the baggage area. I saw her right away and started squeeing on the phone. He thought it was cute. I wanted to run and do like a movie type hug in the airport but I also didn't want her to think I was a dork. But we did hug and squee. And we were a little nervous. So after we got to her house, I did show and tell right away - hoping that talking about a topic - would help us both calm down. I took out a photo album I have from my time in Cleveland, Ohio. And then some loose photos of J and I as teenagers, Michael and I, family and so on. I wanted her to be able to see the faces of people I talk about.

House - After show and tell, we both got comfy and then she showed me around her house. Her house - so amazing. Living room walls are 2 shades of green, her dining room walls are a burgundy color and then her kitchen is sunflower yellow. That is what I think of at least when I walked in - sunflowers. And you see those colors no matter which of those 3 rooms you are in so it is just very bright and cheery! Then she has art everywhere. Amazing art - but all of it says Jessica..

She told me to help myself to anything in the kitchen but not just that she showed me where things are at in the kitchen. People say that often "help yourself" but often don't show you or tell you where things are at so I really appreciated that she said "here are tomatoes, deli meat...." and so on just telling me where everything was so that I could really help myself.

The kitchen has what is called the "snack drawer" and it is amazing! It was filled with banana chips, different kinds of nuts, protein bars, chocolate and several others things. (I am not sure if she always has chocolate but that was something I put on my likes list.)

Talking, Talking and more Talking - After show and tell we sat in her living room in our pjs, eating peanuts - and talking. Until 3am. And that started the non-stop talking from the time I got there until I left. Thursday when we got up, started our next day of non-stop talking. We sat and talked in our pjs until 4pm - an hour before her husband got home from work. Everyday we talked all day and at night we laid on the guest room bed - talking until late.

I feel like the trip was for me to get a lot out. I have so much going on right now that I just felt/feel like everything is so tightly kept inside that I was/am going crazy. And Jessica, let me get it out. She is the type of person that honestly listens. She is thoughtful and kind. She is poses questions and doesn't judge. She doesn't always get why I do the things I do but she accepts me for -me-. Also her house is the kind of house that lets a person be comfortable and safe. And I am so grateful for her to let me really often "dump" things on her.

Food - Something Jessica likes is to expand peoples food experiences - so likes them to try new things.

I had posted a recipe link on Facebook for ceviche. Now I just looked initially at the picture, the ingredient list and saw all the beautiful seafood and flavors - and said yums! I didn't read the recipe. If I had, I probably would have never posted it. I am glad I did post it though as Jessica - from that moment - had it in her mind I should try ceviche and I am glad I did. Ceviche is basically raw fish that is marinated in citrus juice. That citrus juice "cooks" the fish. Jessica said that the ceviche we had, wasn't that good - not as good as it usually is at least. But I thought it tasted good. It was hard not to look at it and see raw fish and go - "no! no! no! I am not sticking that in my mouth." But I did want to try something I have never had before while there. And I know how much Jessica was looking forward to me having ceviche. And really I enjoyed the flavors. I think that if/when I try it again - it can only be a better experience.

Every place we went - had good food. I was in food heaven. Thai food - oh yes how I love thee! And the last night I was there we went to a place that had a salsa bar and I had a steak torta that I am still dreaming about. Yums!


More to come in later....some things I want to talk about...sketch books/art journals, documentarian, her husband, cats, trees, tattoos and I am sure other things I am not remembering just at this moment.

It is hard...

to live so far away from my family. I think the older I get the harder it gets too. I wonder what it is about living so far away at this time in my life that makes it harder?

We even have some family drama going on and I still miss being around them. Plus I just got back from Minnesota and seeing them so I shouldn't be missing them so much. But I do understand that -this- time is different too. I keep wishing I had got to see my Uncle more while there but I completely understand why there just wasn't time. He needs his strength to help fight.

So now I am working hard to a website done before I go to North Carolina. As much as I am missing Michael, I am really glad to get away to see Jessica as I think I just need some down time away from things that deal with my family.

Six

* We took 6 large trash bags, one large box and one small box to Good Will yesterday. Most of it was clothing. When I moved from Ohio to Colorado I remember getting rid of something like 9 large trash bags of clothing so please tell me how I can still be getting rid of more things? I haven't bought a lot of clothing since being here. Going through the clothing though I did have a flood of memories come up. All good but it made me miss my friends in Ohio and the wonderful times I had with them.

* I had a dentist appointment yesterday. It looks like I will have 2 follow up. No cavities but some tarter issues and a chip in a cavity that needs repair.

* I woke up with a bad cold this morning. Sore throat, stuffy, body aches...just the works. Drinking OJ and taking airborne.

* I think the newest med I am on for sciatica and neuralgia is working. We have been working the dose and finally found the one that seems to be doing the job.

* It looks like I might be going to visit a friend in April. I get so excited thinking about the possibility. Thinking of the things I should bring and things I want to do while there. I know it will be amazing.