Feelings are Real

Michael, my love, told me this last night when I was having a bit of a meltdown. I am ready to be healed. Photo from Buddha Groove on Facebook.

Be Me

I am a big Liz Lamoreux fan. I have her book Inner Excavation and feel it helped me get unstuck in creating again.  I get her newseltter and often it says just what I am needing to hear in that moment. Her newsletter of January 22nd was one of those. 

Quote from it...."We all need a space where we can just be us. A space where we aren't in charge. Where we feel safe enough to unearth this true essence inside us. A space to be the quiet one or the one who gives the biggest hugs or the one who invites others to dance or the one who simply nods and listens murmuring "yes." A space where we can connect with other like-minded souls." ~ Liz Lamoreux

That space often is just with me inside me - quite, taking deep breathes and doing what feels right in the moment. But also it is with a group of friends. Twenty thirteen brought me a circle of friends that I haven't had since moving to Grand Junction.  It is the first time I have felt like I have a space to be me.  It is a space to be me in art, be me in laughter, be me in silliness, be me in deep discussions, be me in connection and vulnerability.  I am truly thankful for the great group of friends that came together in 2013 and grow closer in 2014.

Photo from Amy Brown Fairy Cards - a tarot reading done on the 19th.

Truthbombs

I receive daily truthbombs from Danielle Laporte. Theya re emails sent from Danielle with just little nuggets of truth.

They often seem to tell me the thing I need to hear in the moment.  The day I got this one, someone had upset me, but then I realized really they said what they said because of their own feelings and going on - and really it didn't have much to do with me.  Really often when people are upset - defaulting to kindness and remembering we are all fighting our own battles that helps me process it and not take things so personally.

Judgement

From Don't Let Anyone's Criticism or Judgment Define Who You Are on TinyBuddha:
"Ultimately, I realized that I felt insecure because I was carrying around the words and judgments I’d heard at different points in my life as if they were written into the code of my DNA."

I have done that for 45 years. Some judgement I have been able to let go, but some just linger and haunt me. But it is one thing I continually work on - letting them go.

A Good Relationship

From TinyBuddha's FB status today: 
"Good relationships don't just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together." ~Unknown

A good life lesson and one I have learned over the years - good relationships just don't happen. I think we like to think that when you love someone - the relationship will just be magically connected together by love and make it a good relationship, but it takes more than love. It does need love - a lot of it, but time, patience and wanting to be together is really key too. I love spending time with Michael. He works from home so a lot of our time is spent together and when we aren't together - I miss him fiercely!  

Women are Heros too

Quote from a piece by Henry Rollins in regards to the Steubenville rapes: "So, how do you fix that? I’m just shooting rubber bands at the night sky but here are a few ideas: Put women’s studies in high school the curriculum from war heroes to politicians, writers, speakers, activists, revolutionaries and let young people understand that women have been kicking ass in high threat conditions for ages and they are worthy of respect.

Total sex ed in school. Learn how it all works. Learn what the definition of statutory rape is and that it is rape, that date rape is rape, that rape is rape."

Stress

This is something I found on Facebook and love the analogy.....

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

Valentine's Day celebrating Love

Today is about spreading love and kindness to others so when we thought about what we could do - we thought of something we did a couple years ago with Operation Nice and that was to leave random notes saying nice things all around town. But this time I wanted to promote www.SpreadGenerosityDay.com. So I made up some little notes that had Spread Love & Kindness on the top with the Spread Generosity web address on the bottom and then Michael and I hand wrote out little messages on them.  We then took and left Love &  Kindness Notes all around Grand Junction.

We saw one person read a note I left on a table outside a coffee house.  He smiled when he read it so I guess that counts as spreading love and kindness as we gave some a good enough feeling that he smiled. I hope people that encounter them get a little joy from our notes. We hope it helps their day be bit better - maybe enough that they will  pass on some love and kindness to others so that it spreads.

As my beloved said today, over the years we have come to realize that love comes in so many forms and Valentine's isn't really about celebrating only the love of lovers, but celebrating the love in the world and around us in just so many little moments throughout our day.

Here are a few photos from our day....

#GenerosityDay

Generosity Day

Such an amazing idea for Valentine's Day....sharing and spreading love in random acts of kindness. Michael and I have discussed what we want to do....recently we discussed that we should do Nice Notes again. So we are going to go leave Nice Notes around town. We have a few other things we want to do too.  I also have some personal things I want to do such as sending thank you notes people in my life that really have supported my dreams and inspire me. I have no doubt we will document our day as that is something I have really been into this year is making sure I remember the joy in my life by documenting it....so there will be a post on Thursday about Generosity Day.

#GenerosityDay

Beauty Every Day

The other day Upworthy resposted an article that appeared in The Washington Post about violinist Joshua Bell who went to play incognito in subway station. It was a social experiment by the journalist, but as a quote in the article points out....and I am adding a word to it...what beauty do we miss every day?

"If we can't take the time out of our lives to stay a moment and listen to one of the best musicians on Earth play some of the best music ever written; if the surge of modern life so overpowers us that we are deaf and blind to something like that -- then what else are we missing?" from the Washington Post

Here is some of the video...I know there is one the above link too.

Resolution or Desire and Intention

I have never really made New Year's resolutions. I might have a very loose list of things in my head of things I want to work on, but they don't necessarily come with just the new year. They are just things in my head that I am constantly adding to, working on and doing throughout the year. I evaluate my life and think about what I want and where I want to go with my life throughout the year - not just at the new year.

The last few years I have some goals written down as I felt seeing them in black and white gives them intention and vision to do them. So I guess in fact they have been resolutions as the definition of resolution is resolving to do something or setting a course of action and being firm in determination.

Why I have never called them resolutions though is because to me a resolution is more firm or outlined and often - well I am a dreamer and think with my heart so things are always changing and moving for me. I don't always have a clear vision of how to get to where I want to go, but kind of leave it up to where the path may lead me - not always to the final goal, but something I needed anyway.

This year a good friend of mine wrote me to ask how she could support me in my new year goals. I was blown away by her kindness and generosity, but she did make me look at my goals. I am still not making clear plans or outlines really. But I am making intention.  Intention of what I desire and where I would like to go with my life. Again my path my steer me off sometimes, but I trust in the universe to guide me to my dreams, desires and intention for my life.

One of my desires for the new year is get Danielle LaPorte's Desire Map program. As always she speaks to me and with this new year of setting desires and intentions for myself it of course speaks even more clear....

Impact

"Consider the importance of becoming aware of the impact you have on others, and remind yourself that by raising your own energy level to a place where you’re in harmony with Source, you become an instrument, or a channel, of peace. This works everywhere, so be a part of the counterbalance to the human negativity you encounter in your life. As Mahatma Gandhi said: “We must be the change we wish to see in the world.” Dr. Wayne W. Dyer from Do You Make a Difference?

Taking a Leap

The on-the-spot practice of being fully present, feeling your heart, and greeting the next moment with an open mind can be done at any time: when you wake up in the morning, before a difficult conversation, whenever fear or discomfort arises. This practice is a beautiful way to claim your warriorship, your spiritual warriorship. In other words, it is a way to claim your courage, your kindness, your strength. Whenever it occurs to you, you can pause briefly, touch in with how you're feeling both physically and mentally, and then connect with your heart-even putting your hand on your heart, if you want to. This is a way of extending warmth and acceptance to whatever is going on for you right now. You might have an aching back, an upset stomach, panic, rage, impatience, calmness, joy-whatever it is, you can let it be there just as it is, without labeling it good or bad, without telling yourself you should or shouldn't be feeling that way. Having connected with what is, with love and acceptance, you can go forward with curiosity and courage. I call this step "taking a leap." From Pema Chodron's book "Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change"

Desire Map

Danielle LaPorte is always inspiring to me. The Desire Map trailer hits it for me on so many levels because it is speaking to me. The not being good enough or worthy is something, I still struggle even though I have identified it so so long ago.

Inner Peace

me holding leaves

"When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us. When our community is in a state of peace, it can share that peace with neighboring communities and so on. When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to de­velop inner happiness and peace." - Dalai Lama

The Key

"I learned that sometimes stopping is the key to going. Letting go is the key to becoming. Breathing is the key to living. (Literally and metaphorically.) And, celebrating where you are right now is the key to happiness." From Tiny Buddha - The Difference Between Fulfillment and Achievement

Sister Giant

I like Marianne Williamson. I have for many years. I have the Course in Miracles which she wrote a book based on that practice.  I also have her prayer book.  Now she is getting involved in politics - in getting women involved specifically. She has some interesting things on her new website Sister Giant and really enjoyed listening to this video she posted there too.

4 Tips for Being Mindful

Another Tiny Buddha that helped me recently...they always seems to post things I need to hear right in the moment.

4 Tips for Mindfulness when Life is stressful and painful....

1. Realize thoughts are not necessarily reality.
2. Use breathing to center you in the now.
3. Stop comparing now to then.
4. Focus on the happy moments.

Good points and lots of insight in the full post: LIVING IN THE NOW WHEN IT’S STRESSFUL

Rest or Push

These questions are from a post on Tiny Buddha: WHEN IT FEELS TOO HARD TO KEEP TRYING: REST OR PUSH HARDER?  The whole article is good, but just wanted to make note of these questions....as those were what helped me recently on an issue.

The Rest or Push Checklist:
Is this goal in line with my anchors (primary values)?
If I need to neglect other anchors, is that just temporary while I focus on this goal?
Can the other anchors recover from this temporary neglect?If I quit now, will I regret it?
If you answered “Yes” to the above four questions, it may be time to push.

Am I feeling depressed or depleted?Have others expressed concern for my well-being?
Can I continue with this goal in the near future without losing significant gains?
Has this goal served to distract me from other difficult tasks (such as dealing with relational conflict, making improvements to a situation, feeling painful emotions)?
If you answered “Yes” to those four questions, it’s probably time to rest.

What was said and What I hear

I know that people sometimes say things that we can take wrong. But I feel most of the time it is our own internal negative messages that start playing and interpreting what was said in a totally different meaning. I still hear things that weren't actually said, but I know I have gotten better with it and shutting down negative processing because of Byron Katie's The Work.


I ask myself the 4 questions of  The Work....
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? 
4. Who would you be without the thought?


I think when you first start doing the work, doing all the questions and the turnabout really help in rewiring those negative thoughts that come with what we hear verses what was actually said.  After doing this for a bit though, I can say to myself when the tapes start playing - Is it true?  And really with that I can shut them down. But before I always created loop holes and so those other questions and the turnabout were important to help me in processing.

Really people can mean something one way and say it another. So how we do take it can be accurate but really that is their problem - they have an issue then to work through so still by doing the work I ask if it is true and let it go.  

So either way The Work - works for me to help process my own negative tapes and acknowledge the present moment.