Happy Mother's Day

My beautiful Mom. Feel incredibly blessed to have a Mom who has such a kind heart and generous spirit. I love you Mom! Happy Mother's Day!

I also wishing Happy Mother's Day to my other Mom - Michael's Mom. I have come to know such a sweet woman and love her dearly! 

Sunset in Sioux City

photo by Michael McGruder

Something you can't get in Colorado is Godfather's Pizza. It is Michael's favorite pizza.  I grew up with Godfather's Pizza in Omaha.  So I really like it too.  It was the place to go after football games in high school so I associate Godfather's with some good memories from my youth. 

When we travel we always look to see if we will be through towns with Godfather's Pizza.  On the way to my sister's right about dinner time we were going through Sioux City which had a Godfather's so we stopped and grabbed a pizza and then went and parked on a country road and watched the sunset.  It was a beautiful sunset to watch with my love while we had pizza.  Maybe kind of silly but these kind of things make the best memories.  I know I will remember our whole day as it was a trip through Nebraska - all the back roads. Seeing lots of little towns and pretty country.  Not just flat boring interstate.  We had great conversations and  just enjoyed our time together. 

Now looking forward to time with my sister and her family and my parents too as they decided to come down and see Michael and I too! 

Tripping to the East

Michael might need to be taking a road trip for his work and I am going to tag along.  It would give me a chance to see friends in Ohio, a friend in Illinois and then my sister and her family too.  We are all crossing fingers and toes it will work out.

I haven't seen my friends in Ohio since January 2004.  I miss Karen and Lisa so much. Everyday little things remind me of them.  I don't have friends here like I did there and miss that a lot. So hugging and talking with the girls would be absolutely marvelous! So crossing our fingers and toes that it works out - as it is kind of up in the air right now.

Meetings

We had a really good time for the holidays. Meeting my niece was a highlight of the trip.  She walked while we were there. On Christmas Eve I was sitting in the family room and I had a brightly colored package of kleenex - the little purse size pack. Chloe saw all those bright colors and wanted it so walked to me to get it. It was quite a few steps and it was a moment I am sure I won't forget. It was so amazing to see her taking those steps when she is just walking - to know she can get that thing in my hand just by going over and getting it.

It was just fun to see how her mind works. Wondered though what she was thinking. But just so happy to see smile and laugh.

After we left Minnesota, we met a friend on our way home. We had a great time - wonderful talks and laughs. She is an amazing person and I was just so happy to be able to sit in the same room and talk with her. She is going to come visit us out here in a Colorado. Michael and I can't wait to show her around our beautiful state.

Gratitude Friday

I am thankful for...
1. arriving in Minnesota safely
2. that Michael is feeling better as he didn't feel very good traveling up here
3. meeting my niece for the first time
4. her reaching out and touching my nose and smiling like she knew who I was
5. spending time with my family

Paper Coterie Review

I decided to create a book from Paper Coterie for my sister and brother-in-law for their 1st wedding anniversary. First wedding anniversary is paper so I thought it would make a good gift along with the newspapers from their wedding date that Michael picked up. I also made a graphic print of hearts with their initials and wedding date.

Paper Coterie has a wide variety of books for different occasions. I found them very easy to use. Uploading photos, changing the layout, dropping and dragging them to the layout of the book and changing the words as well as adding words. You can change out backgrounds, swap them with other pages and play around with the clipart. I knew if I played around with it too much I would just keep playing and playing and never get it done. But I did have fun playing with it and it was so easy to create.

The book I received was so pretty. Good quality paper and colors. I definitely would like to create more books from them. They make great gifts and keepsakes for memories.

This is the little graphic print I made for them too.

The Snow it Melts the Soonest

I posted a Sting song on March 21st. I have been listening to him a lot lately. I am sure it is a combination of reasons - but one is that my Uncle really liked Sting. And we are coming upon the anniversary of his death. And so I have been thinking about him a lot. It is still some time away. But early last year is when we found out about his cancer and then end of March/beginning of April is when I traveled to Minnesota to see him for the last time. So lots of thoughts of him and missing him very much. Thinking of my Aunt and my cousin often in times like this as I can't imagine all the feelings they must be going through. So my thoughts and prayers are sent to them daily as I think of my Uncle too.

Time Away

We were able to take some time away this weekend to have a lunch with friends. Michael has been so busy with work that I know he needed the break. And I have been caught up in stuff around the house so it was nice to get out.

Really we want to go do a day trip around here locally but we just haven't had the time. Hopefully in early May some time we can get away. A friend, who just moved to the area, wants to go with to see more of this of the state.

Also we would like to go to Iowa this summer to see my niece. We haven't met her officially yet. And I would like to before she graduates. :) It is just hard to get away when having your own business. It takes all Michael's time and with how bad things were last year - we are just so thankful for how busy things have been this year. And Michael is just working really hard. Not knowing how things will be 6 months from now we just have to be grateful of the work that is coming in right now. And we are very grateful. But that also means we don't get to plan trips very easily. But it is our hope to get to Iowa over the summer when my sister isn't working and be able to spend time with her and her family. And meet my precious niece.

Wisdom

Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

To go to Minnesota when I did so that I could tell my Uncle I love him and give and receive a hug from him before he died.

Another wise decision for me this year was to go into therapy. With the grief and all the other problems of this year - I really needed that support. It was a hard decision and hard to just do in general but it was a wise decision. It has helped me so much.

Party

Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

I can certainly say that my sister's wedding and her wedding reception at my parents were the parties of my year. I am very grateful that I was able to attend both. We really didn't think we could afford to go to her wedding. And in the end it hit the budget but it was so worth it - to see her get married. My sister looked beautiful. Her dress was almost Marilyn Monroe-like. And my Mom did her flowers and they were beautiful bright orange and yellow.

At my sister and brother-in-law's wedding reception that was held almost a month later at my parents in Minnesota - again my sister looked beautiful. My Mom is the hostess with the mostess so the flowers, the food, the candy bar were great! The candy bar is what it implies - my Mom had several jars of different candies and then little paper bags with April and Joe's names and wedding date on them and people could fill a bag or two of candy up to take home with them as favors. Oh and the other wonderful thing about the reception my other sister made cupcakes - red velvet, coconut and then one other that I am not remembering at the moment. All of them were so good.

As I said above I am just so grateful I was able to attend both. I am glad I was able to see my baby sister marry her love.

Auntie!

My sister had her baby today! I had to go get a blood draw for lab work (just yearly check up) this morning and I kept thinking about my sister and wondering if she would have her baby today. And then I got a call from my Dad telling me she had Chloe Jo! I can't wait to see photos of her! And to hold her!

I am an Auntie!

Quiet Storm

I am alive although very quiet. It just isn't here that I am quiet. I am quiet in all aspects of my life. I should say quiet externally - but internally it has been a year of roller coaster emotions. And am kind of introspect. And it all makes me quiet as I am not sure what to be writing or who I am or where things are at as everything seems out of focus.

Right now is our slow time with work so I should be taking advantage of the down time to be doing lots of things around here. And I just can't wrap my mind around it.

So some good things....

* My sister will be having her baby very soon. If she hasn't had her by the 21st then she will be induced. I have shopped for baby gifts. Which IS SO MUCH FUN! I am so excited about being an Aunt. Every time I think about it - I break out in a huge smile. I know though it is going to be hard to be so far away.

* Phone call with a good friend I hadn't talked to in quite a long time. It was good to catch up, laugh, cry and just share as we do always - no matter how long we don't talk or when the last time we saw each other we can get on the phone and talk like no time has passed. I am very lucky to have such beautiful friends that have such amazing compassion and strength.

* I just watched the Harry Potter movies and have never read the books but I want to do that too. Silly as this will sound - they never interested me until recently when I saw JK Rowling on Oprah and after that interview is when I realized I wanted to read the books and see the movies.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I leave tomorrow for Minnesota. I won't be home until August 17th.

My parents and sisters will be so busy getting ready for April and Joe's wedding reception (that is on Saturday) so my cousin is going to pick me up at the airport. I am very grateful that she is able to do that for me/us. And I can't wait to chat books with her. She is an avid reader - even more avid then myself though.

I look forward to seeing all of my family. Almost everyone will be there for the reception. It is at my parents home. And I am sure my Mom is in uber hostess mode getting ready for it.

My Grandma and I are having a slumber party on Saturday night. I am staying with her in a hotel room as she has trouble with my parents steps to their guest room so on Saturday night she and I will stay in a hotel room. I look forward to just chatting with her.

I am staying until August 17th so that I can be there when they bury my Uncle's ashes. I wasn't able to go the funeral so I really want to be there for this. It is at the small country church cemetery. I know my Uncle had many good memories associated with the church so it will be a good place for his ashes.

When I get back from Minnesota, I will be home a day and then leave for Denver for several days. So lots of traveling coming up for me but for good reasons.

Love

Only sharing just a couple photos from my sister's wedding. Michael and I have been working hard on editing them. I won't be able to finish them before I leave for Minnesota tough.

This is during the ceremony. Michael and I were both wishing we would have had a video camera. Because during the ceremony Joe would squeeze April's hand and then April would squeeze Joe's hand. And back and forth through the ceremony. It was very touching to see it.


Next to the lake there were pretty flower gardens so this is one of them after the ceremony and dinner walking amongst the flowers.

To Iowa

Well we had an unexpected change of plans. My sister is getting married in Iowa on Thursday but we really didn't think we could go. But a few things came into place and we are now heading to Iowa. We are in Denver now. We attended Michael's brother and sister-in-law's 25th wedding anniversary surprise party on Saturday - which was so nice. Their kids did a great job with it.

Because this was a change of plans, means I wasn't at all prepared to be going to a wedding, but I am very excited that I get to see my sister get married.

Thinking of My Family

I am thinking of my family today - especially my Aunt and cousin. I wish I could be there but I will be sending love to them.

My Uncle John

It is said that the Eskimos have 32 different ways to say the word love....the feelings of love I have for my Uncle go well beyond those 32 different words. He was such a vibrant, loving man who meant the world to my family and I. I am very sad he is gone and miss him greatly.

Am I Here?

I left the 29th of March to go to Minnesota and then returned on the 5th of April. Michael says he had a trip to Denver then. And I honestly don't remember it but really with so much on my plate I am not surprised. Then after that I left for North Carolina. Five days after coming home from North Caroline, Michael left for Austin. He arrives home tomorrow.

I write all that out because that is where I have been...when I have been at home I have been working to get a clients website up. And start work on the next one.

And now I will probably be heading to Minnesota again soon.

Some good things in my life that I am very thankful for...Michael - he is my rock so supportive of me during this difficult time, I had a fabulous time in North Carolina with Jessica and my baby sister is getting married!

It is hard...

to live so far away from my family. I think the older I get the harder it gets too. I wonder what it is about living so far away at this time in my life that makes it harder?

We even have some family drama going on and I still miss being around them. Plus I just got back from Minnesota and seeing them so I shouldn't be missing them so much. But I do understand that -this- time is different too. I keep wishing I had got to see my Uncle more while there but I completely understand why there just wasn't time. He needs his strength to help fight.

So now I am working hard to a website done before I go to North Carolina. As much as I am missing Michael, I am really glad to get away to see Jessica as I think I just need some down time away from things that deal with my family.

Persist in Love

I am home. I arrived in Colorado on Monday but there was a snow storm that didn't allow me to get back to Grand Junction until Wednesday.

I went with the main purpose to see my Uncle. And it went okay. It was really hard.

My Uncle is 53 years old and was diagnosed with a rare aggressive cancer. And so it is most likely he won't be around much longer so I -had- to go see him. I needed to see him and give him a hug and tell him I love - which I did both those things a couple time. I wasn't able to see him as much as I wanted but I am SO GRATEFUL for the time I had with him. And I hope to get to see him in May when I go back for my Mom's 60th birthday.

I was able to see him a couple of times and each have these moments I want to remember.

My Uncle holding my hand and squeezing it. It was hard for me not to cry. When we were getting ready to leave, he hugged me and he said he hates saying good bye. And I said that he would see me again before I went back to Colorado. I just kept my arm around him and told him I loved him.

The next time I was able to see him was Easter. He had his first chemo treatment on Friday. And then Saturday he wasn't suppose to have any visitors and just rest. Then Sunday all my family - extended family went to their house for Easter. We all brought stuff so my Aunt wouldn't have to do anything.

My Uncle was nauseous almost constantly. So there wasn't much visiting with him. Just being with him. And I was fine with that. Then came the time he said he had to lay down and needed to say good bye. So I gave him a hug and told him I loved him. And he told me I give good hugs.

Easter was Sunday of course and then Monday morning I flew out. He isn't doing good at all. So I am hoping that things improve. I know he won't be better. And won't be cancer free. He is most likely not someone that will go into remission. All of this is to help him not suffer so much and give him more time.

I want to go back in May. I am selfish and want to see him again.