Winter's Sacred Invitation

A couple weeks of ago I went along with Michael to a client's home. They live right at the base of the Colorado Monument and it was just a beautiful winters day. I found it very inspiring and created this poem. 

Winter's Sacred Invitation
Majestic red mountains cloaked in white rising to greet us
Snow shimmering like jewels lining our way
Bare branches waiting for a dance with Winter's daughter
The icy breeze kissing our cheeks and fingertips
As tracks in the snow coax us forward
Winter's sacred invitation laid before us

52 Week Photo Project: Week 4

Last Friday Michael and I went on a Poetry Date and I snapped a bunch of photos. We saw so many wonderful pieces that inspired us. So for Week 4's photo I used the top photo, but adding the second photo of it too.

This old secretary desk. Michael and I really liked. We actually started looking at it because of a tea set on top. We were talking about it and so I opened it up. Inside it had photocopies of marriage and birth certificates of a couple who received the desk as a gift for their marriage. The top paper was a handwritten note with some of their story. Each item in the store has a story, but this one was included with the piece. It was a nice surprise to open the drawer and find it.

My Word is Joy

I believe it was Ali Edwards that started picking a word for the year. That will represent the goals and thing to keep present in your life for the year. This year I picked the word joy.  The end of last year, I really tried to practice finding joy in everyday.... whether they were ordinary moments or something quite extraordinarily. I found it helped me on so many levels...mentally, emotionally, creatively and physically. Although it didn't cure my pain, it helped me not get so swallowed up by it that I couldn't see anything, but the pain. I didn't pick a word last year, but kindness probably represented my year - being kind towards not only others, but myself. I always try to be kind, but I guess I wanted to take that a step further and be kind towards myself as that one is always hard for me.

So this year is joy and finding those moments of joy everyday. Today I was washing dishes and a moment of joy was looking at my dishcloth. It is a yellow handmade dishcloth made by an Aunt. It is always more enjoyable to wash dishes with a dishcloth made by someone I love.  A moment of joy in the middle of this ordinary task.

Feels Like Home

On February 1 Michael and I will celebrate 10 years together. This is our song. Just feel extremely blessed to with such an amazing man and sharing this journey with him for the last 10 years and the years ahead.

52 Lists: Week 3

Moorea Seal hit the nail on the head with this one....it came at a really good time for me and she worded it perfectly. I am working on several things out of my comfort zone and it is easy for me to get my brain spinning about things and not see that I have much to be proud of in myself.  Moorea Seal said on her blog: "I absolutely believe that everyone has reasons to be proud of who they are, what they have made it through and what they have created in their lives.  But many of us doubt that we even have anything to be proud of.  If you are having a hard time feeling proud of anything about yourself or in your life, you can at least try to acknowledge those things which you should seek to find pride in." 

I am doing the 52 Lists as a way to explore myself. I have many things I am proud of in friends and family, but trying to keep this list to exploring myself and it is very hard for me to even think about what I should be proud of - so a really good task for me to do as I have had people in my life say - I often discount the things I do. 


This weeks list is - List the things you should be proud of.....

My relationship with Michael - My Art Exploring new outlets and forms of my creativity  - I love unconditionally - I am passionate about so many things causes – such as human rights, domestic violence, child abuse, fighting cancer and other diseases, poverty and many other things. I have a generous spirit and and am kind-hearted to want to fight for those that need help - Traveling and living in so many areas around the US - I give good advice and am a good friend - I am a good mediator for others when they are upset - Being able to see both side of ideas - The journey I am on and that I continue to grow and learn - Friends and family – so many wonderful people in my life doing amazing things daily - My relationships with family and friends  - Being compassionate and open-minded - Self taught myself many things including website design and photoshop - Working with Michael in his business – learning it and taking on things that scare me and push my comfort bounds - Surviving trauma and troubles in my life including dark thoughts of trying to kill myself  - Surviving each cycle of depression – coming out each time stronger - Reading  - as it allows me to explore areas and times I can never go and expands my imagination – words creating vivid pictures in my head - I am very domestic and enjoy making a happy home for Michael and I -  I am self-aware


Join in doing 52 Lists hosted by Moorea Seal.  I love them and it has been not only fun, but really interesting exploring some areas I buried or never really noticed about myself.  #52lists2013

Poetry Dates

When Michael picked up poemcrazy by Susan Wooldridge, he fell down the rabbit hole like I did after reading it. He immediately started playing with words to capture moments he was seeing.  He suggested we do poetry dates. We made a list of places to go to that would inspire words to create poetry.

After making a list of these places, I cut them into strips of paper and stuffed all of them in a jar.  We will pick a strip of paper from the jar each week to go to and do poetry dates. This first week's pick was Habitat for Humanity Restore.

I snapped photos along the way to help us remember.  It was an outing that surpassed my expectations. It was completely inspiring and enjoyable. I really can't wait until our next date.  I think it was perfect for Michael too - to unplug from work and play creatively.

Each item in the Restore has a story and it was so delightful to look at them and create stories for them. To see beyond just an item sitting on a shelf.  It was perfect for our first date.

Here are some photos I snapped and poetry I am sure will come later.....

old brick tiles

figurines

typeset

I pretty much was swooning over the typeset. There were 2 boxes this one was 18 point and the other was much smaller. Both surprisingly intact. I mean missing some letters, but quite a lot more then I have ever seen in a set.

antique dresser with top row of wicker knobs

pottery

vintage Singer sewing machine

Gratitude Friday

ice outside my doctor's office 

I am thankful for...
1. a good meeting this week for me
2. a therapy session where we high five
3. new glasses - they are purplish pink and I am amazed how better I see now
4. poetry date with Michael at Habitat Humanity ReStore today - so FUN!
5. thick and rich stew for dinner - one of my favorite comfort foods

Life in 2013

Just a few notes about life....

* My life is amazing right now. I just feel overwhelmed with joy. It is easy for the pain to flood in and bring me down though. So trying to hang on to all the good things in my life. Remind myself that I have super fantastic support system in my life between Michael, family, friends, and professionals in my life such as my doctor and therapist.  Hanging on to the abundance of joy and working to get the pain more under control.

* I got new glasses....first time I have worn glasses in at least 15 years.  I joked with the eye doctor that even though Colorado doesn't seem to mind me not having a glasses while driving....I do. :)  I had been driving more and didn't like not being able to read signs ahead.

* I have been working on a project due to Michael and some other people giving me a little nudge. Oddly it was my idea at first and then others were very much in support of it. It is doing things that are out of my comfort zone, but it has been good for me at that same time.  

* 2013 has been artful and creative for me. I am reading a book Poemcrazy (something I have never tried my hand at before) and I am having fun playing with words. Besides the poetry, I have many other fulfilling creative ideas and projects taking up my time. I can't imagine not having them going on now and want to explore them further. I hope to really push my creativity and art in 2013.

* Monday I had to get some X-rays done and handed Poemcrazy to Michael when I was taken back.  He is now hooked on it too. We are going to do Poetry Dates.

* As I started this entry...life is amazing right now. I really am enjoying life right now and I like who I am becoming. I feel very good about everything. I am always growing and working towards things I want in my life...for my life.

Beauty Every Day

The other day Upworthy resposted an article that appeared in The Washington Post about violinist Joshua Bell who went to play incognito in subway station. It was a social experiment by the journalist, but as a quote in the article points out....and I am adding a word to it...what beauty do we miss every day?

"If we can't take the time out of our lives to stay a moment and listen to one of the best musicians on Earth play some of the best music ever written; if the surge of modern life so overpowers us that we are deaf and blind to something like that -- then what else are we missing?" from the Washington Post

Here is some of the video...I know there is one the above link too.

52 Week Project: Week 3

We were in Denver last week and I snapped some photos while Michael was in meetings. One was this photo of branches. I have started a poem about branches and what they mean to me - I am not finished with it. Oddly I started this poem before I started reading a book called poemcrazy by Susan Wooldridge.  Now I have no doubt the poem will emerge more easily as that book has freed the words stuck inside. I see them all around now.

New Year

Julius Shulman

photographer Julius Shulman

Michael stopped me this morning before I dived into work to watch a documentary on Julius Shulman via Netflix instant. Oh....I am so thankful he did...it was captivating.

From Amazon: "Narrated by Dustin Hoffman, VISUAL ACOUSTICS celebrates the life and career of Julius Shulman, the world s greatest architectural photographer, whose images brought modern architecture to the American mainstream. Shulman captured the work of nearly every major modern and progressive architect since the 1930s including Frank Lloyd Wright, Richard Neutra, John Lautner and Frank Gehry. His images epitomized the singular beauty of Southern California s modernist movement and brought its iconic structures to the attention of the general public. This unique film is both a testament to the evolution of modern architecture and a joyful portrait of the magnetic, whip-smart gentleman who chronicled it with his unforgettable images."

I will tell you the truth, I didn't know the name Julius Shulman, but as soon as they started showing his photographs...I recognized them. The film and his photography are impactful and inspiring. Extremely glad Michael persuaded me to take the time to watch it. It was well worth every minute and I know I will be floating on daydreams of beautiful architecture all day.

Gratitude Friday

a photo from our drive home

I am thankful for...
1. a safe trip to Denver
2. seeing our good friend Lala in Denver
3. being able to see Michael's parents and new puppy
4. playing with my camera while Michael was in a meeting
5. stopping in Glenwood Canyon to take photos with Michael - we had a lot of fun stomping around in the cold and snow.
6. really good dinner of veggie lo mein and baked egg rolls

52 Lists: Week 2

This week....List Your Greatest Comforts

holding hands with Michael - watching movies with Michael - creating art - going to museums -purring kitty cats - soft sweaters - snuggling under a blanket - pillow talk - the smell of soup simmering - hot soup on a cold winter night - tea with cream & sugar - cool drink on a hot summer day - reading books- Brene Brown books - Paulo Coehlo books - Eat Pray Love - chatting with friends - hugs from friends & family - sending & receiving snail mail - listening to music - office supplies - art supplies - cardamom cookies - smelling & eating freshly baked bread - warm fuzzy socks // hot cocoa - Christmas - chocolate -baking - singing - touch - dreams - sunsets -mountains - photographs - candles - notepads - journals - chapstick - memories - snow - rain - coloring - crying - laughter - road trips  - Asian food - Thanksgiving dinner - making lists - Sunday mornings

Join in doing 52 Lists hosted by Moorea Seal.  I love them and it has been not only fun, but really interesting exploring some areas I buried or never really noticed about myself.  #52lists2013

52 Week Photo Project - Week 2

Rhonda's Rocks

I have a therapist. I don't think everyone needs therapy, but I know for me I am thankful for the therapists I have had in my life. I have struggled with depression all my life - my brain chemistry is just wired differently.  It is not like I had a broken childhood or lots of trauma in my life, but I do have things that have tripped me up and it has been hard for me to move past those issues.  Add in that I just feel as a person....I am constantly working on me. I am continually growing and changing and it is nice to have someone there who isn't a friend or lover to help be a sounding board and give guidance without some of the things that come with having an intimate bond.

Last January my therapist at that time left for a new job and it wasn't like her current job so not like I could just follow her so she recommended one of her colleagues for me.  We had kind of a bumpy start only because I was scared of some of the things brought up.  But when I reached out again she was there for me and has been a champion for me.  I am extremely thankful to have her help.

I feel in 2012 - really just in the last 6 months. I have been growing more comfortable with myself then I have ever been. I know it is mainly due to her help and understanding.

The above photo is from my therapist's office. She has a bowl of rocks in her office. Some of the rocks have been given to her, some she has collected and she has it out so people can look at them or can take a rock if they want.  When I stepped into her office, I immediately was taken with the bowl of rocks.  I ran my fingers through them and picked them up looking at them - so many lovely shapes, textures and colors.  I think one reason I was drawn to them because here at home I have a bowl of rocks too. Mostly rocks given to me by friends, but some collected over the years. I have found lately when we travel, I have been finding rocks that I feel should come home with me and be added to my bowl. I am glad I see them and see so many other things I have ignored for far too long....simple everyday joy is coming back to me and I have to thank my therapist for helping me find my way back to it. Thank you Rhonda!

Here to Stay

I think I heard this on the tv show Nikita and really liked it.

It's a Tiara

Michael and I have been on a Big Bang Theory marathon lately and this is a clip that I loved from on of the episodes we watched today.  Michael said it reminded him of me.  And I admit it reminded me of me too. :)

Gratitude Friday

Michael blowing bubbles in -7 degree weather
Light reflecting off bubbles to make them look like fire

I am thankful for..
1. Michael dancing and singing in the furniture store we went to on Sunday with my parents
2. blowing bubbles in single digit and minus degree weather just to see if bubbles will freeze. Although the test didn't succeed. We did have fun trying even though it was so very cold!
3. tea
4. capturing everyday moments with my camera
5. my parents visiting us....it was a really nice time. It was great to see them. I miss my family so much - so glad to have a little time with my parents

Resolution or Desire and Intention

I have never really made New Year's resolutions. I might have a very loose list of things in my head of things I want to work on, but they don't necessarily come with just the new year. They are just things in my head that I am constantly adding to, working on and doing throughout the year. I evaluate my life and think about what I want and where I want to go with my life throughout the year - not just at the new year.

The last few years I have some goals written down as I felt seeing them in black and white gives them intention and vision to do them. So I guess in fact they have been resolutions as the definition of resolution is resolving to do something or setting a course of action and being firm in determination.

Why I have never called them resolutions though is because to me a resolution is more firm or outlined and often - well I am a dreamer and think with my heart so things are always changing and moving for me. I don't always have a clear vision of how to get to where I want to go, but kind of leave it up to where the path may lead me - not always to the final goal, but something I needed anyway.

This year a good friend of mine wrote me to ask how she could support me in my new year goals. I was blown away by her kindness and generosity, but she did make me look at my goals. I am still not making clear plans or outlines really. But I am making intention.  Intention of what I desire and where I would like to go with my life. Again my path my steer me off sometimes, but I trust in the universe to guide me to my dreams, desires and intention for my life.

One of my desires for the new year is get Danielle LaPorte's Desire Map program. As always she speaks to me and with this new year of setting desires and intentions for myself it of course speaks even more clear....

52 Lists: Week 1

I found this via Pinterest as I follow Moorea Seal there and enjoy her blog also. She is doing a list a week for the year - 52 Lists.  I love lists so I am going to jump into this project.

Right now I am reading the book Inner Excavation by Liz Lamoreux and she suggest collecting a word toolbox. Gathering words to create poetry. So this first list is perfect for that too...the first weeks list is Words that Touch Your Soul.

The words I have on my list:  love - Michael - grace -living - stillness - joy - devotion - vibrant - laughter - star - dream - believe - feeling - spirit - celebrate - rainbow - simplicity - play - passion - kindness // journey - open - peace - friendship - family - gratitude - wholehearted - hope - mountains - acceptance - being - beauty - expressive - hearth - home - energy - sisters - understanding - giving - knowledge // vulnerable - courage - doing - truth - reality universe - touch - tea - silliness - artistry - purple - mermaid - darkness - light - enough - enchanted - faith - music - growth - possible

Join in doing 52 Lists hosted by Moorea Seal.  I love them and it has been not only fun, but really interesting exploring some areas I buried or never really noticed about myself.  #52lists2013

Keep Holding On

I have been rewatching Glee on Netflix Instant .  This is a song that played in the episode I watched tonight.

52 Week Photo Project - Week 1

A couple friends of mine are doing the 365 Photo project, but I am not sure I am up to doing 365. Along with the 365 Photo Project there is 52 Week Photo Project so I am doing that....a photo a week.  I am working with the book Inner Excavation by Liz Lamoreux  and I am trying to just capture picture of my life here and there.

Here is week 1 photo....

Gratitude Friday

I am thankful for...
1. my parent's arriving 
2. hugging my parents
3. kitty cats
4. hot cocoa with homemade coffee liqueur
5. Michael fixing the light in my office

2012 A Year in Review by Google

Yesterday I posted a commercial that had a song in it that I like, but made me think of commercials and last night while watching Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin Eve - Google had a commercial that made me cry. As I said to Michael - Google commercials always get to me. They have an amazing advertising department. So inspiring.

2012 A Year in Review by Google