Sunday, September 24, 2006

Daily Om - Libra horoscope

Just a snippet from todays Replacing Worry With Prosperity:

"When we no longer feel the need to worry about day-to-day survival matters, we are free to pursue opportunities that demand the whole of our attention while promising rich rewards. Anxiety drains our energy stores by monopolizing our focus and exhausting us physically. During bouts of worry, we are rendered unable to concentrate on activities that fall outside of the scope of mundane concerns. By banishing anxious thoughts from our minds and endeavoring to create an existence suffused by security, we empower ourselves to focus wholly on long-term goals and pleasurable pursuits. We draw prosperity into our lives by simply grounding our thoughts in visualizations of our ultimate futures. You are at liberty to explore your world today in part because you have built a sturdy foundation of stability in your life."

Friday, September 22, 2006

Friday Gratitude

This week I am going to do the letter "A"....

~ Air: When I was cleaning the bathroom at 3am - I ended up using some bleach and so I became very appreciative of air as bleach even in little amounts doesn't like my asthma (yes I have insomnia thus the cleaning the bathroom at 3am)

~ Airborne: That seems to have kept my cold from getting worse.

~ Art: doing and seeing art

~ Antiques, Architecture, Archeology: Each thing has a piece of history...each has a story. And also at the time it is today and present. Which made me think of a quote: "Art is not a treasure in the past or an importation from another land, but part of the present life of all living and creating peoples." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt

~ Aqua: I have been going through a lot of bottle water lately...the colder the better

~ Apples: It is starting to get into that season when apples with peanut butter are such a great snack

~ Apple Cider: I really enjoyed hot apple cider in the fall.

~ Autumn: It is almost upon us. I love the crisp, cool air. I love the colors of leaves...the changing of the seasons. So beautiful.

~ Age: I am going to be 39 in a month and although I am feeling down about it...I really should be grateful for each birthday and day of life I get.

~ Acid free papers: Use them in art so that they don't fade and make the things on them change colors or deteriorate.

~ Asiago Cheese - I just like the flavor so much!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Environmental Artist

Michael watched a documentary he got off netflix called "Rivers and Tides" and he told me I need to watch it. So I watched it last night and it was really amazing. It is about artist Andy Goldsworthy Here are some incredibly powerful and beautiful images on google. For me it was amazing to see how he sees...thinks....everything for him is about space, energy between things, how it might changes the area and how it will change because of the environment. Much of how he does it...I would have never seen or thought of...just interesting to watch.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Old Photo...Old Picture....

I use this avatar on a couple communities I belong to because I liked the image as it is from a picture we had in our house as child.

Today I was going through my photos to see if I could add anything to what my family had sent for the video. As I flipped through photos today I could see the above image in many of the photos. You could tell that is the place my Mom liked to pose people for photos - and even after we moved to a new house she posed us in front of that picture. I found this picture that had a fairly clear shot of the picture in it. This is of one of my sisters and I (me on the right - my sister Michelle on the left and other sister not even a twinkle in my Mom and Dad eyes - yet - though soon). My sister is, I believe, about 3 and I am 6. Don't you just love my dress! (yes I am being sarcastic.) It was the Christmas photo that year that Mom mailed out in all the Christmas cards.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

A Cat with No name....

From the book Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote:

She was still hugging the cat. 'Poor slob,' she said, tickling his head, 'poor slob without a name. It's a little inconvenient, his not having a name. But I haven't any right to give him one: he'll have to wait until he belongs to somebody. We just sort of took up by the river one day, we don't belong to each other: he's an independent, so am I. I don't want to own anything until I know I've found the place where me and things belong together. I'm not quite sure where that is yet. But I know what it's like.' She smiled, and let the cat drop to the floor. 'It's like Tiffany's,' she said. 'Not that I give a hoot about jewellery. Diamonds, yes. But it's tacky to wear diamonds before you're forty; and even that's risky. They only look right on really old girls. Maria Ouspenskaya. Wrinkles and bones, white hair and diamonds: I can't wait. But that's not why I'm mad about Tiffany's. Listen. You know those days when you've got the mean reds?'

'Same as the blues?'

'No,' she said slowly. 'No, the blues are because you're getting fat or maybe it's been raining too long. You're sad, that's all. But the mean reds are horrible. You're afraid and you sweat like hell, but you don't know what you're afraid of. Except something bad is going to happen, only you don't know what it is. You've had that feeling?'

'Quite often. Some people call it angst.'
'All right. Angst. But what do you do about it?'
'Well, a drink helps.'

'I've tried that. I've tried aspirin, too. Rusty thinks I should smoke marijuana, and I did for a while, but it only makes me giggle. What I've found does the most good is just to get into a taxi and go to Tiffany's. It calms me down right away, the quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there, not with those kind men in their nice suits, and that lovely smell of silver and alligator wallets. If I could find a real-life place that made me feel like Tiffany's, then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name.'


Breakfast at Tiffany's is one of my top 5 movies. I just relate to parts of it. I haven't read the book but have it on my list of books I would like to get.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Catalogs

So I opened the mailbox today and saw IKEA! I almost squealed standing right there was but was worried it would scare Michael while he was trying to crutch it up the porch stairs!

For 3 years of living here I often go to the IKEA website to request a catalog and each time they say no they are out of my area. Recently I heard that Denver is getting an IKEA so I stopped by the website tried the request a catalog form again....and this time it went through! I wasn't holding my breath though so when I opened the mail box to see the catalog I was positively delighted! Yes, I know quite silly. But I love IKEA!

Also really like catalogs...just to look at and read -- for entertainment. One of my favorite catalogs is The Baker's Catalogue. It is full of baking products from King Arthur Flour.

Friday Gratitude

Okay so I am going to try doing a weekly gratitude thing....

Today I especially express gratitude...

~ always grateful for Michael....our time together...laughing, smiling and just being with each other

~ Art - many levels to this one....seeing wonderfully talented people grow and to be able to put myself out there more with my art also

~ Cupcakes with pink frosting!

~ Michael healing...he was able to go out this week and that was very encouraging.

~ Chatting with my sister Michelle on Monday. I hadn't talked with her in a while and really was glad to catch up with her.

~ Daily Om for reminding me of myself.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Linkage...

Jana Marcus "Transfigurations": A photo and essay presentation about people who are transgendered.

http://www.jlmphotography.com/recent/TransPresentation/sld001.htm

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Let them eat Cake!

A recipe I want to make....Unbelievable Chocolate Kahlua Cake

It is not as bad in calories and fat as it could be - it uses yogurt, skim milk, egg whites. I got it off of Diabetic Gourmet.

Unbelievable Chocolate Kahlua Cake

Ingredients

* 1 (18.25 oz.) Devil's Food Cake Mix
* 1 small (1 oz.) box sugar free, instant chocolate pudding mix
* 1 cup nonfat vanilla yogurt
* 1/4 cup canola oil
* 1/3 cup skim milk
* 1 large egg
* 3 large egg whites
* 1/3 cup Kahlua liqueur
* 1/3 cup semisweet chocolate chips
* Cocoa

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350F.
2. Coat a 13x9-inch baking pan with nonstick cooking spray and dust with cocoa.
3. Place all ingredients except chocolate chips in a large bowl. Beat with mixer for 2 minutes or until well blended. Stir in chocolate chips.
4. Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 50 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in middle comes out clean. Cool before cutting.

Calories: 205
Protein: 3 g
Sodium: 209 mg
Cholesterol: 13 mg
Fat: 8 g
Carbohydrates: 31 g
Exchanges: 2 Bread/Starch; 1-1/2 Fat

Monday, September 11, 2006

Little Bits from Daily Om

I get Daily Om's in my email box everyday and love them....

A Life of Passion
"Forgetting about what you love to do can be a form of self-sabotage. If you can forget about your dreams, then you never have to risk failure. But just because we've decided to ignore our passions doesn't mean they no longer exist."


Staying Afloat
"Because life is dynamic and always changing, it is when we try to make the wave stand still or resist its direction that we are likely to get pulled under by its weight."

Fully Present in Time
"Our lives are so complex and full that we tend to focus on the big picture rather than on the minute details that make up the picture. Individual moments are lost among the day's clutter, and we are overwhelmed by the burdens, tasks, and responsibilities we must face. To cope, we spend much of our time recalling the bliss the past held or anticipating the blessings the future will bring. However, while life is often demanding and hectic, it is nonetheless made up of immeasurable moments that each carry the potential to delight. A consciousness fixed in the present exists in a state of optimal sensitivity. It responds to life as it comes, reveling in the pleasures of the moment and then gladly letting that moment go."

Complementary Energies
"It is easy to get caught up in the demands of home life because they never stop. There is always one more thing you can do, another dish in the sink, a counter that needs wiping, or a person who needs a ride somewhere. If you don't set some boundaries, you will find yourself on an endless journey of housework and doing for others. Eventually, you will probably feel drained and out of touch with your inner life force. Instead of waiting for this to happen, integrate self-care into your daily schedule. Even Buddha insisted that he have one hour completely to himself every day. There are times when even that will not be possible-for example, with a new baby or a sick relative. At times like this, retreating inward energetically can be a lifesaver. You can always find five minutes to close your eyes and breathe consciously. You may even be able to meditate. "

Choosing a New Response
"Everyone has fears-it is a natural part of being human. Fear can protect us from harm by sending a rush of adrenaline to help us physically deal with potential danger. But there are times when fear may keep us from participating fully in life. Once we realize that fear is a state of mind, we can choose to face our fears, change our minds, and create the life we want to live."

The Journey of Release
"When we become overwhelmed and things are not going as planned, it is natural to hold tighter to our goals and try to force things to go our way. In the process, we tie ourselves in knots, tensing our shoulders, jaws, and muscles throughout our bodies. Our mind tells us that this is how to get a firmer grip on a situation that feels out of control, but as we create knots in our bodies we are blocking the flow of our energy, exhausting ourselves by exerting more effort yet accomplishing less. At these times, though it may seem counterintuitive, our higher selves know it's better to let go."

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Just this and that....

* This past week I finished up something important for/to me. And it felt really good.
* I have been going through depression right now....so I have been quiet. I don't write as much when I am this way.
* I have really good friends that support me. I have been really stressing this weekend about putting myself out there with my art. And my friends always come through and support me in these really self-conscious moments by encouraging and accepting me.
* I need to clean house this week and start my next work project. I did a really good clean of the house except the Master bedroom but last week after that I seemed to have dropped the ball a bit but I know that is because I was working on the thing that was important to me.
* I hope to do some art this week.
* I want to finish an art doll I started a long while ago
* I have a stack of photos on my desk and frames for them....I really should do that sometime soon. I am sure it is bad Feng Shui to have empty frames sitting around. I also have a Buddha wooden mask carving that I should hang up.
* Michael is doing much better. He is getting around better (still on crutches though). Able to support himself longer when standing.
* I think I am going to make breakfast burritos tomorrow - for breakfast....I have been craving them.
* I need to take the garbage out tonight before I go to bed...I know the excitement of my life is earth shaking.

And just so that this won't be a completely boring entry...one of our adorable kitty cats....

Friday, September 08, 2006

Driving....

Okay so I have never been fond of driving. Because my birthday is in October I could have been driving before my classmates when turning 16. And really I still was but I didn't get my drivers license *on* my birthday because I just don't like driving. It really has never changed. Before I get in the car I think about where I am going, how I will get there exactly, what lanes I need to be in and where I will try to park when I get there. Driving stresses me out and sends me into almost a OCD mode and so I don't like driving. Well not true...I don't actually mind long distance driving. I used to kind of enjoy the drive from Cleveland, Ohio to Topeka, Kansas - did that several times. But city driving makes me anxious. So when I moved to be with Michael if I need to go store or need something, he drives and we go together. And we both like it that way...spending time together, doing things together. So I don't drive very often but just at times I do just to keep up with it.

So Michael hurt his knee the day after he came home from his trip so he is pretty much immobile -- so I have *had* to drive. Since Michael's injury when I have had to drive it just basically one thing to do - go, do it and come home again. But today I drove several places and I was gone several hours and then came home.

It was just so odd and surreal....but okay. I survived driving again.

One another note...Michael has a hot car....men especially seem to notice his car and ALWAYS comment on that it is a "sweet" ride or "AWESOME car" - and you should see them look when it is a girl driving it. It was quite funny watching their reactions.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Saying Thanks...

Xeorx is sponsoring a program that sends postcards to troops overseas....and all you have to do is 3 easy steps to send a FREE postcard to military personal overseas.

Here is the link....Let's Say Thanks

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Pricing Art...

I think putting prices on my art is one of the scariest, hardest and exciting moments in my recent history. I just haven't done that in a very long time. I scoured Etsy to figure out how I should price and still not sure if I am aiming in the right direction.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Arts and Crafts

Addicted to Rubber Stamps is having some really good sales going on right now. If you haven't ever checked them out you might want to take a look. They don't just sell rubber stamps but ink pads, cards, stickers, embellishments, adhesives, paper punches and so on. Check out their sale!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Music...










Okay so I was talking to a good friend about how behind the times I am regarding whats in for music. And then another friend posted this link and now I am HOOKED! And look at the video on the left side - it is so good! I would have broke bones trying to do that.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Today....OUCH!

Okay so this a quick account of the day...
7:30 am Michael and I woke up early and decided going back to sleep sounded good to both of us. He was out town this weekend and didn't get hardly any sleep. And I don't sleep well without him so I didn't either. So sleep sounded wonderful.

11 am We finally woke up. And Michael went to make call backs from messages he had after being out of town.

12 noon We had brunch. I had been craving oatmeal/apple pancakes while he was gone and he thought they sounded good too and so we made those together. I am horrible at flipping so I mix the pancakes up and Michael mans the griddle. While eating, we watched the next episode of West Wing (we started season 3 last week).

1 pm After we ate, we did kind of a weekly meeting to discuss where business is at and what we need to do with this current client.

1:20pm We started working.

1:30pm I heard a LOUD horrible crash and Michael obviously in pain....his knee went out/dislocated. He got his knee back in place but he couldn't move from the floor for about 30 minutes. This has happened to him before but it was before he and I were together.

2 pm After I got him to the couch and set up, he needed crutches. So he called around while I took a shower knowing I was going to have to go out and get them.

2:45 pm I was getting in the car to go get crutches.

3:15pm Leaving the medical supply store with crutches in hand.

3:30pm home again

4 pm after getting a new ice pack and some ibuprofen, I am now sitting down to do work.

It has been a hell of a day.

He is okay. Not great but he is much better then he was when he fell. It doesn't look too swollen to me so that is good and I hope it stays that way. He was able to use the crutches to get to the bathroom and the pain was much less then it was right after it went out but I can tell it is still bad. But I am grateful it is better then it was right when he fell. So right now he is sitting on the couch with laptop doing work and watching the Bronco's game I dvr'd for him last night.

I was really really scared because I have never seen him in that much pain even after he had surgery that first year I was here. I almost just went and called 911 so voiced that outloud wondering if I should call 911 - he said no that it wasn't needed. As I said he seems a lot better at the moment so I am very grateful. But poor Michael! I hope that his heals quickly!

Friday, August 25, 2006

Memoirs of a Geisha...

Michael bought me the 2 disc widescreen special edition of the Memoirs of a Geisha. Thank you Michael! Today I watched the movie (again after seeing it many times through netflix a while back) and then right now I am watching the second disc of it. It is really interesting - basically a making of the Memoirs of a Geisha from Geisha Bootcamp, to set design, the dancing, the music and so on. Right now the segment is about the music. John William's did the music. He came to Rob Marshall the director and asked to do the music. John Willam's had never asked for a movie but he wanted this one. So Rob Marshall was basically shocked and honored and of course said yes yes. And then Willam's said to him "I am thinking Yo-Yo Ma and Itzhak Perlman for solo's" and asked Rob what he thought and Rob had to be picked off the floor.

They are now at the dance part and they are talking about the winter dance scene. I love that scene.

Okay going back to work...I know kind of an odd entry but it just struck me in the moment.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Quote...

I reread this passage several times today....I relate to it in many ways. It is in regards to a character in the book, Mikhail, is saying the more you tell your own life story...the more you become free of the past. And this is a quote about it.

"It's not my story anymore: whenever I speak about the past now, I feel as if I were talking about something that has nothing to do with me. All that remains in the present are the voice, the presence, and the importance of fulfilling my mission. I don't regret difficulties I experienced; I think they helped me to become the person I am today, I feel the way a warrior must feel after years of training; he doesn't remember the details of everything he learned, but he knows how to strike when the time is right." ~ from The Zahir by Paulo Coelho.

Monday, August 14, 2006

We have liftoff....

The last few weeks have been absolutely crazy around here. First, I leave my job of 11 years.. Secondly, there was a mad dash to "emptying out my brain" that left many-a-heads-a-spinning just before I departed. Then I had to put a rush job on a couple of projects before leaving on my first film assignment last week. All the while of making contacts, arrangements, setting up my business books, drafting releases and contracts. That on top of having a number of due dates on upcoming projects that just sent us from 0 to 60 in nothing flat.

But I must say - it's been an incredible time too. My parents and Darby went in together to buy me a printer that I've been looking at - which will give me the ability to print directly onto CD's and DVD's. It's totally awesome! My folks also got me a monogramed shirt with Reflecting Time on it that was really cool. I wore it when I was doing my shoot in Pueblo last week -- very spiffy and professional! It was very cool. The party was held at a local watering hole across the street from the office where I worked. In a very touching gesture - Nicole's parents bought the party $250 worth of drinks for "the first round.." It was very touching and I am still overwhelmed by their gesture. It was really incredible.

The reality hit though when I was leaving a message on the phone a week or so ago. Darby was in the other room. I got their voicemail and I wasn't really paying attention or anything. It got to where you start leaving the message that I said: "Hello this is.... " and then it hits....

OH MY GOD - I'M IN BUSINESS!!!!!!

I instantly wore a smile as I said: "yes, this is Michael from Reflecting Time Productions and I was given your number....." OH WHAT A FEELING!!! Immediately when I got off the phone I screamed "WOOHOO" loud enough that the neighbors probably wondered what in the heck happened! Darby was squealing in the other room and I rushed into her art studio and we had a very warm and happy moment.

Yep.. I'm officially in business..

Wow..

Take a deep breath...Smiling wide!

So it's been chaotic around here. I think my brain is still playing tricks though because it thinks it has to go back to work for the Public Defender soon. Alas, eventually the reality sinks in that I don't do that anymore.. And that becomes a wonderful, overwhelming feeling after 11 years of fighting in the mud of so many different cases, after riding so many different roller coasters and wearing my emotions to a nub -- it's all changed. It's not as though I regret my time with my co-horts.. In fact, I miss them and yet I don't miss the onslaught of cases and projects that I was doing all the time. I know I was enduring many layers of burnout - of which I had no means to escape.. Each time I tried to remove myself from there - I'd get another phone call, an email or some other crisis that needed my attention. I was simply unable to pull myself from the job -- and that's when I realized something had to change.. Unfortunately this is something I've had to deal with for the last 4-5 years.

But that's in the past. A new direction has broken out and there are things evolving in the stream of life that can really take off. Of this, I have no doubt but to know that I'm on a much different adventure than I was on.....

...and it's very exciting!!