Last Monday I put the tree up but we didn't get to decorate it really until this past Saturday. I unpacked the ornaments on Monday though. Michael and I were watching TV together while I unwrapped and unpacked ornaments from mounds of tissue. I wasn't really paying attention as I did...but I finally looked down...the ornament I had in my hand is very special to me. Tears welled up....the emotions spilled through me and I began to sob. I let it all out...the ornament is my dog's ornament that we got for her 1st Christmas.
She died this last spring. I hadn't seen her for years as she was with my ex-husband but she still was in my heart.
So when Michael and I were ready to decorate the tree on Saturday night, he handed me the ornament and said that it should be the first one on the tree this year. More tears shed of course. But she was the first on the tree.
Here is what I wrote the night I found out she died...
May 3, 2007
When I was married and my husband and I bought a cute little house in March 1994. It was 80 plus years old at that time and needed some work. But we were looking forward to making it "ours." My husband was a pet person. He grew up with dogs. And so when we got a house, I told him I thought we should get a dog. Now at that time, I was not really a pet person. I liked animals...but much like children...I didn't know how to interact with them. I am also a girly girl...licking, drool and such grossed me out. And so I wasn't over joyed with the prospect of getting a dog but loved my husband and knew his really missed having a dog so I wanted him to have one. After living in our house for just a couple months, I woke up one Saturday morning and said, "Let's go to the humane society today." He turned 8 years old and bounced up and down. Yes he really did....that was kind of his thing.
We walked through the first part of this humane society...and it was all the puppies. We didn't see anything really. Then as you moved in further it had older dogs. The part with the puppies also was a part that had like little doors so they could go in and out...so part of the kennel was outside and part inside. I was looking but really I felt it was going to be up to him and really we thought we would just look because it was good time to discuss what kind of dog would be good for us. But over all I knew since he was the dog person he was going to have to find a dog that he liked. There were a few older ones he really liked but they were pretty big and he wasn't sure our yard was big enough for such big dogs. So we were heading out...going past the puppy cages again...some had been out when we walked in and as we walked past...
I stopped.
There were 4 puppies in this kennel and they were playing and having so much fun. I stopped. And he had kept walking he noticed I wasn't with him. He then turned back and saw me bent down and eye level with the puppies.
One of the workers came over to me right away. She said, "Would you like to see one?" I said, "YES!" I told her which one and he at this point is looking at me puzzled but happy. The worker brought the puppy out to me....and handed it to me. I pulled the puppy close to me holding her. The little pup was shaking in my arms but she did a big lick all across my face and I started to giggle. We played with her and held her some more. He said, "I think you found our dog."
We did....she came home with us! Because we had not been prepared to bring home a dog....we really had just thought we will go look to start getting an idea of what would work for our house and such. So we didn't have a collar and leash and she was so tiny so I held her and as soon as the car started moving she peed all over me. Again I remind you I am the girly girl who doesn't really like to get dirty. But here was this little puppy that had stolen my heart and so she was my baby. He dropped us off at home and he ran out and got food, leash, toys and all that stuff.
I thought we were going to get a dog for my husband and we came away with a dog for both of us. She captured my heart. My husband traveled quite a bit so she became a good friend for me. There are so many stories I could write....I just loved her so much. She helped me through some dark times by making me get out of bed and making me take care of her. And am so thankful for for finding her and my heart just being captured by her. I have a picture of her that hangs above my desk as there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her.
I found out tonight from my ex-husband's Mom that my dog had to be put down. She had a brain tumor and causing her to have so many seizures she became totally unresponsive. She hasn't been in my life for many years but my heart aches as though it was just yesterday when I hugged her close and I will miss her.
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